Waking Up in 2020

How many hashtags are going to be made for the Black people that are being killed every day before a change is made. Real change. Lasting change. 

I am white. I am late to the cause. I am late to waking up to how unfairly and unjustly the Black community is treated. I am late to learning Black history and learning about how to be Antiracist. I have been educating myself though. I've been watching, reading and listening. My heart aches for the Black community and I no longer want to sit and do nothing. I don't want to forget the names that have now become hashtags. I don't want to forget this feeling of heartache, of anger. That is a privilege that I have. I can go about my days and move on and let go of these feelings. Until the next one. But I won't. 

Growing up, we never talked about race. I was never told about how the color of my skin would be held against me. I was never told that I would be judged for the color of my skin. My parents didn't have to have "the talk" with me the way People Of Color do with their kids. ("The Talk" on how to behave when a police officer pulls you over and how to save your life when it happens). I mean, it seems so unfair that parents have to prepare their kids for the real likelihood of being stopped because of the color of their skin. People of Color have many talks with their children throughout their childhood about race. I don't know that white parents do. This is privilege. 

Systemic racism is so deeply rooted that it can feel overwhelming trying to figure out how to unwind it. How to get to the roots and dig it all up. It all needs to be dug up and undone. For too long Black Americans have been treated like 3rd class citizens. For too long have they been kicked and held down. The Tulsa Massacre. How many people knew that history before recently? I didn't. I had no idea. Black Wall Street. A neighborhood where Black people were thriving. A community built and ran by Black people. Thriving. Until white people were threatened by the strength and perseverance and tenacity Black people had. They rose up! They were succeeding. Until white people with the help of our racist government, bombed and destroyed this community and killed hundreds of innocent people. Our own government helped to destroy a thriving community. They may not be dropping bombs today, but this is still very much happening on different levels today. It's not okay. 

I may not have all of the answers. I don't know what the next step is. I do know that I am here. Listening. Learning. Watching. I will do everything I can to fight for equality for all People of Color. I will do everything I can to become Antiracist. I will do everything I can to unlearn all of the things, the wrong things, that I have learned along the way. One of the many beautiful things coming out of this Pandemic, is that people are finally waking up. We are seeing and watching what People of Color have lived with for hundreds of years. We can't turn away and ignore it any longer We can't forget it because we are so busy being busy. For this, I am so grateful. I pray that this awakening is only just the beginning. That we stay awake and help to undo this foundation that America was built on. Tear it all down! Rebuild it as a Nation where ALL women and men are created equal.