What Makes A Healthy Lifestyle: Mental Health

If quarantine has done anything, it has furthered my constant thinking and reflection. I have always spent much of my life in my head. Thinking and really, overthinking. However, this is a different kind of thinking. I've been reflecting quite a bit on life. My life BCD and life after (Breast Cancer Diagnosis). I've lived a great life. One filled with adventure, love, fun, growth and also lots of hard lessons. I also lived a lot based on fear and what ifs. On the outside I seemingly lived a healthy life. A common statement that was said in reaction to the diagnosis was, "You're the healthiest person I know". The truth, I wasn't healthy. Sure, I was careful about what I put in and on my body. I worked out and ran marathons. Inside though, I was so unhealthy. To be truly healthy, it goes so much deeper than just what you eat. 

In the "Blue Zone" studies (5 places in the world that have the most centurions) doctors are studying what the secret is to longevity. What is their secret to creating a healthy life? In reading and seeing the interviews of some of the centurions in Sardinia, Italy, I was fascinated to see how they are mentally sharp and still active in life. They are surrounded by family, have a positive mental attitude and eat a local in season, plant based diet. When I first received the diagnosis, I found a healer. Technically he is a chiropractor, but he is so much more. His knowledge of the body as a whole blows my mind. Dr. Mike, as he is known, taught me that being "healthy" has many different levels. Mental wellness is just as important as physical wellness. Community and purpose are also extremely important. So, combining what Dr. Mike has taught me with the Blue Zone studies, I realized that I had a lot of junk to clear out. 

For years, I carried a lot of resentment, anger, sadness, not enough ness and fear. I had a childhood and teenage years that held a lot of trauma both mental and physical. I pushed things down and even blacked parts of life out. I believed that if I didn't think about it, that it'd go away. I was wrong. Your body stores unprocessed feelings and trauma. These unprocessed thoughts, feelings and traumas can become diseases (or as I like to say dis-ease). I went to talk therapy for years. Worked on finding my core issues and the beginnings of survival mechanisms that I would carry with me for years. Therapy is really helpful, but for me it took me to a place and then I wanted more. I wanted to gain tools to truly process these feelings and behaviors. I wanted to gain the tools to be different. Be open, loving, trusting and happy. It's okay to be sad or mad or whatever it is that you are feeling, but holding on to it can be harmful. So, over this past year I have started working with a life coach, learning tapping, getting reiki, and letting go. I still have work to do, but my life has changed. I have changed immensely from this. I realize now just how important mental health is and a positive mental attitude. Life is meant to be lived and not taken so seriously. None of us are getting out alive, so why not enjoy it to the fullest? Let go of the stories, the trauma and the shit. Negativity will eat you from the inside out. 

Another important part of mental wellness is how you talk to and treat yourself. Just yesterday, my coach stopped me while I was crying that I wasn't out taking over the world, to tell me that she was angry with me because I am so mean to myself. I am. We are all our own worst critics. I am a recovering perfectionist. I have a hard time starting things, like writing, because I want it to be perfect the first time. I don't want to mess up or allow people to see that I am flawed. Imperfect. I have been beating myself up because I don't know what life post cancer looks like. I went straight from cancer treatment to a double mastectomy to Covid-19 and yet I feel that I "should" (I really need to stop "shoulding" all over myself) have my next big plan set up. I "should" know what the rest of my life will look like. The truth is, nobody knows what tomorrow will look like. We can plan all we want, but Life has a way of happening. I've been really hard on myself and talking myself out of writing. The thing I love to do. I was telling myself that I'm not a good enough writer. Who would want to read what I write. The thing is though, why not me? Even if 1 person reads this and connects to it, that'll be enough. Or maybe nobody will read this, but I am getting to practice the thing I love so much and that is enough. I am enough. So I made a promise to myself to be kind to myself and to stand up for myself like I would a friend. After all, I am my own best friend. 

 A positive mental attitude and I will add in gratitude are both important pieces to a healthy lifestyle. I'm not saying to ignore sadness or anger, I'm just saying that working through those feelings and knowing there is a silver lining or a light at the end is important. Processing and letting go are so important. Negativity if left uncheck will wreck havoc on your well being. Trust me, I know all too well. So for today, choose kindness, gratitude and love. Toward yourself especially.